Adventure Site Contest 2: The Warm Caves of the Ts’ai Dragons

​Written by Sneedler Chuckworth
OD&D, levels 5-7
Earth Dragon lair.
  The dread wizard Zothblimzo promises the party’s arcane casters both free training for 3 levels and to
them any spells from levels 1-3 (max 99% chance to know) if they find a treatise written by their enemy,
Forxximon, on the mating habits of Fire Elementals. Such a treatise is of immense import to Zothblimzo.
Zothblimzo has used Contact Other Plane to determine Forxximon has “died in a ditch” – the wording
exactly! - and said treatise was on the very person of Forxximon at the time of his death.
  There are some bits of internetism that I’m just not up on. As a 39-year-old I’ve got all the older millennial humor down pat, but there are plenty of jokes that are basically “after my time”, particularly in the splintering of subcultures that has happened in the last decade and a half. I see them, vaguely recognize that there is an inside joke there, but just have to shrug and move on. This adventure is submitted by one “Sneedler Chucksworth”, so I’m expecting this to be less than serious even though I’m not up on whatever this reference is. I know better than to ask.
  The names are a little silly, the writeup is wry and jokey, and the stocking is a bit random, but what we have here is actually a pretty normal “dragon lair with some stuff” site. A pair of earth dragons hang out in a cave with some elemental fire temple theming nearby, a mix of firetoads, naked giant crazy cultists, and the usual semi-random dungeon oddities (Fiend Folio heavily used) salted in. Not a lot of story here beyond the #1 hook seen above with a fire-elemental loving wizard getting himself scrunched. Wander around playing OD&D, very normal.
  The map would be dismayingly linear if there wasn’t a little vertical portion that consists of three shafts connected by a tunnel; that makes section-to-section able to be bypassed with care (although B and C are swapped from how they should be, going by key clues). Fifteen keyed rooms is a fine size for exploration, and you can go overboard with loops sometimes. I’d have liked a little bit of either explanation or mapping of the area above the caves, given the odd mix of stairs down vs. flyable chimney for the two ingress points. I’m not sure if I’d have displayed the vertical sub-tunnel bit like that, but it works great for an exploration zone.

This is fine.

  The monsters here are weird, as befits a Fiend Folio raid. Obviously, earth dragons are a FF standby in the far too common trend of “even more dragon types”, but there are also firetoads, a sheet phantom, quallans, caryatid columns, a freaking flail snail…you stare in shock at the giant spiders when they come up, standard creatures are that rare. Dangerous creatures are also typically telegraphed. Every dead body within the speak with dead timeframe has some knowledge noted, while even the rats and spiders can be spoken with. The firetoads being chatty is a particular surprise, while the dragon does not have much patience despite being described as “personable”…
  There’s a ton of interaction with not just monsters, too. There’s a statue looking like “the guy on the cover of the DMG” who demands blood sacrifice in return for fire powers, there are nasty traps around chests, there’s a dead-end trap room with a fake door and a dead end treasure hall with a fire-rat semi-cursed wishing well that defaults to granting a rat in a pocket. The traps are not telegraphed typically, nor are most secret doors, but hating thieves is an OD&D staple.
  As I’d hope from a dragon adventure, there’s some treasure in here. The main hoard at 144k will be the vast majority of the treasure here but magic items are all over the place, with items like boots of variable tracks and a lyre of interruption adding welcome interest. The cursed sword picked up early is very nice, and the biggest-for-a-campaign items are probably the trio arrows of fighter-slaying hidden in a well (with a bonus treasure map hinting at it). The crushed lost wizard is loaded out with a fire elemental seduction spell loadout, which, again, is kind of a weird joke but also makes for a valuable treasure result.
  There’s enough legit D&D here to make this a fun site, and despite the lolrandom elements a little shoving should be able to get this into a campaign. In a way it’s a pity there’s the humor element to the writeup because it would make for a satisfying night of D&D.