A dungeon by Sandbox Plots, low level
Written for Shadowdark
   Have I written much about my selection process for Crapshoot Monday? It’s about as slapdash as it can be. Itch.io has an abysmal search function, but you can poke and prod it into submission with effort, eventually getting it to show you (mostly) free products, mostly physical. About half of all such products are creations even more miserable than the average adventure, one-to-six page “complete TTRPG systems”. I’m kind of curious to try month of crapshoots on those games, but I suspect I’d regret it. Anyway, after hitting the first random free or PWYW adventure and downloading it, I look for “more like this” at the bottom of the webpage and so I snaffle up the other freebies in there. Believe it or not, I weed out the lowest 20% after that, the outright disasters and headaches. Anyway, that’s how I usually pick these up.
   Or, in this case, the free adventure’s creator can just tag me on Twitter and say “hit me”.
   Opening up our download, we already have good signs. While written for Shadowdark, it eschews Arcane Library’s distinctive house style for a very simple three-page, double-column document with Times New Roman-esque normal fonts, simple .docx formatting, a tiny Dyson Map (thirteen keys). Nothing special, nothing weird, just…”here’s a site for adventuring in”. Cool. Spelling is a little wonky in places, which I think is an EASL thing.
   The story…is something we have to explore kind of like the players have to explore the site, buried and hidden in the keys. Sussing things out by slow examination, this appears to be the burial mound of the eponymous Ilya the Cunning, a great hunter and lover of books, along with his wise Nastya the Wise, who really loved mushrooms. Unlike the usual corporeal undead, in this case both dead people are meandering around down there as ghosts, stirred up by the invasion of a wolfpack and some centipedes. Both ghosts are able to fight if you steal their stuff, but they also give away loot for clearing out infestations. Also there was a great bow won by Ilya and being held by a bronze statue? No stats given to the bow, but there’s a story about winning it from a god of the hunt.
   Frankly, what I liked here is “most of it”. Map ain’t bad. Couple entryways, one with obvious wolf den danger, other with ambush-jellies, main hub has a statue puzzle to go right or left but there’s a side-step, you have pool of blessing, shrine to mess with, the only traps are sprung by players being greedy, monsters are simplistic but reasonable for low-level, and the bronze statue being a relentless eternal hunter of the bow’s thief is neat.
   What can be improved most here is less about what’s present, but more about what ain’t. The Cunning Bow is a fine idea but it isn’t hinted at or focused on, so we’re a little lost at how to run it. A lot of the best ideas are interesting hints, but require more effort to really flesh out. As is frequently an issue with tombs, there’s a static aspect to the whole place, a sense that this tomb is waiting for player interaction. As always, a third dimension would help both site dynamism and give more exploratory potential.
   None of that is lethal. Best use case for this one is to plop it down on your hexmap and let your players bump into it for a fun hour or two of delving. That’s what I did. Nothing here really screams to be pulled out of context and reused elsewhere. The unfortunate need to do extra work to properly seed the place into the map and to make rumors for the artifact-bow and the god of the hunt and everything else.
   Final Rating? ***/***** with a whole star added if you don’t mind adding in those preparatory bits yourself. Sorry author, I know you told me to savage this thing but I rather liked it. 

​A dungeon by Lars Huijbregts, leveless
Written for “BLOCK DODGE PARRY” or Cairn
   So, this is apparently the second “Bite-Sized Dungeon Module” ever made. Let it never be said that small is bad, for dungeon-making. Adventure Site Contests live and breathe on the 2-page format. I’ve played some truly amazing games run out of lil’ guys like this. This one in particular is using a DENSE format, three-column with information organized in bullets and boxes. A couple pieces of old public-domain art wedge in there too, an admirable inclusion. Less admirable, of course, is the wickedly sinful space-saving move to eschew a proper map in favor of the vile block diagram. -60 points to Hufflepuff. 

   Once the rage-induced crimson blood-haze subsides and is subsequently avoided again by resolutely ignoring the map-travesty, we can continue on and read the actual story of the dungeon. It’s fine. Ancient elven prison now used by beastmen raiders inhabited by formerly-chained demon whose whispers drive the beastmen to sacrifice BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD, eventually freeing said demon. There are a few nice little elements to play with here stemming from the premise, including every single beastman’s blood getting auto-suctioned down into the stone and their tribal shaman  being possessed at variable levels depending how many deaths occur during the Standard Murderhobo Party Crashing. Silver bracelets block the demon’s whispers and if the full-possessed shaman is killed after having a bracelet snapped on somewhere, that takes care of Ye Olde Demon for good. The effect isn’t particularly well-lampshaded, and the awkwardly-phrased clues aren’t exactly clear, but it should probably be noted the situation is at least interesting enough that I spent a little time thinking about fixes. Good sign. I’m somewhat less fond of the “beastmen aren’t evil, they’re just poor tribals being misled” trope, but that’s easily ignored.
   I do so natter on. What I liked beyond the premise was a good solid loot haul at the very end of the rainbow and the basic level-the-endboss-up thing with killing more adds making a gnarlier boss. The attempt to have multiple means of egress, as always, is appreciated.
   Obviously said entries are part of what can be improved first, which is GIVING US A REAL MAP. Seriously. There are also some promising bits that also easily suggest themselves after a moment’s thought. If we’re going by videogame logic, why not have the “kill mobs beforehand” mechanic change the type of final fight to be more interesting? The idea of killing the shaman with a bracelet on to kill/trap the demon is cool, but a better indicator plus explainer would be to have an old prisoner-skeleton with a silver bracelet broken off. Also, hey, that shows that the final fix is maybe not so final. Prisoner and NPC dialogue is a little scripted, some more goals/motivation would help make interactions better. Of course, even better improvement would be to write the adventure for a real system.
   Snide asides aside, best use case here is probably just to have a magical tea party here with a bunch of Cairnies. The concepts are decent but hard to extra, and sadly with neither map nor concrete magic item work, there ain’t much gold to be extracted as nuggets of gameplay.
   Final Rating? */***** although there’s a nice three-star hiding inside the ramshackle vague mass of ideas. Give us a real map and some refinement and you might have a bite-sized dungeon worth nibbling.

An adventure by Robin Fjarem, leveless
Written for Mothership RPG
   Ah, Ye Olde Mothershipe Trifold. Classic. Ubiquitous. I don’t understand the format’s appeal, personally, but sure, it’s a perfectly cromulent method of conveying adventure information. Since this one is for Mothership, our graphics are unsightly and out formatting is wonky, but everything about the scenario is at least understandable. I’m slightly baffled for why these ugly monochrome adventures are the standard, must have been some kind of terribly-conceived jam.
   Speaking of terribly-conceived plans, our story here is that you and your merry band of victims have arrived on Bore IX, an icy moon with a breathable but toxic atmosphere, to pick up a nice fat shipment of iridium ore. As is inevitable in the Mothership universe, the toxic atmosphere turns people into Ice Zombies and there’s also a serial killer who has summoned pirates to buy the ore instead. Also there’s constant hailstorms, the comms array is down, and worst of all, your maps are all abstracted. Horrifying.
   Dunno what I liked here outside of some basic nice descriptions and the way the moon gets described. It’s Stars Without Number-compatible in that sense, at least. The traitor-killer-guy has a nice diary where he wrote down all his incriminating evidence and hid it beneath the bed of another crewmate, that’s a good move. All d10 mining post NPCs are given enough description to run smoothly, that’s appreciated.
   What can be improved here, really? I guess the first would be to drop the “roll for which NPC is the murderer/victim” but at least they have suggested NPCs “if you don’t want to roll”, so that’s a good head-nod to the fact that nobody wants to roll that crap. Real missed opportunity on the “frost madness” disease thingy, for what’s supposed to be the main threat of the adventure there’s not a lot of detail given. Naturally the biggest room for improvement is to STOP ABSTRACTING YOUR MAPS. I loathe the block-and-line diagram style, particularly in a situation where both exploration and tactical combat at possibilities. Inexcusable.
   That being said, best use case is probably to just use this as a sci-fi horror scenario. Traveller or SWN could support this just as easily as Mothership; unfortunately, that’s not very easy, you have a homework assignment to finish this puppy off. Due to the high level of abstraction and the ugly art/visual design, there are officially zero bits or bobs that you’re going to want to swipe for a different game.
   Final Rating? */***** with a sigh. I saw this and I knew, somehow, exactly what I was in for. Zero surprises here, it’s just an unpleasant experience to read.

An adventure by Seba - Rackhir - SlmlOfDoom, leveless
Written for as high-concept notional whim of a system’s idea
   You saw this adventure’s art, didn’t you? Do you really need me to tell you that this thing is high concept? Well, yeah, of course, this is a high-concept little adventure. I’m mostly surprised by how little this adventure is. It’s just a little bifold, call it two pages, with ten locations keyed on the map, a quick random encounter table, a “here’s the story setup” paragraph or two, and the by now de-regur “here’s how to freeze in winter” rules. I don’t know if this is supposed to be “OSR” or freaking Dungeon World, but at least it doesn’t hurt my eyes. Those are my standards here on Crapshoot Monday, folks.
   So, what’s our high concept? Looks like the god of seasonal change (the Smith of Seasons) has been killed, which, oops, has locked the world into eternal winter. Standard D&D Problem, happens maybe 2-3 times a decade, I get it. Fortunately, there’s an easy way to summon spring, just have to strike the eponymous Anvil of Winter with the dead god’s hammer. Sadly, said hammer is half a ton, so must be moved by sled or a giant, and only someone huge can use it. Also there’s a minor nature goddess who’s imprisoned a wild elemental, local villages, and an extradimensional necromancer ship full of sleeping invaders who killed the ol’ guy in the first place because they want to plunge the world into eternal winter. That’s a regional campaign waiting to happen. “Warmth points” are designed to encourage more and more movement as the players bumble onward.
   I’ll begin what I liked with an approving nod to the map’s look. It is vivid, clear, and invites a regional exploration. The weird spiky Necromonger interdimensional spaceship in particular is pretty cool-looking. The concept in general is neat, and I can see a fun game based on it, especially with the (admittedly arbitrary) need for gigantism in the hammer-striking. Said hammerer magically becoming the new Smith of Seasons is rad.
   …but when I consider how much effort it would require to make this idea into a playable game, it’s obvious that what can be improved first, second, and third is GIVE MORE THOUGHT TO YOUR EXECUTION. There’s a ton of handwavium at play here, from accessing the Necromonger Ship to climbing mountains to dealing with the factions to handling the hammer-blow itself. One could certainly manage to make a fun campaign with this high concept, but it certainly appears that the designer intends something like a one-shot here. That’s…a little rough.
   I’m scratching my head a little on the best use case here.  I like the concept, but it’s a tremendous amount of work to give it a proper treatment, while running it as a one-shot feels a little…cheap? It’s also not something that easily fits into most ongoing games/worlds unless you’re cool with really changing your setting’s baseline theological design. I guess I’ll land on “one shot” side here, but it really is awkwardly positioned. Given this is a set of wild ideas mixed with sneaky homework assignments, mining the adventure for neat ideas is very rewarding.
   Final Rating? **/***** and that one added star is only grudging because while it is a cool idea, it’s NOT a COMPLETE adventure. Come back and do the work to turn this into a 20-pager, oh authorial trio.
Nifty yak illustrations, tho.

A “zungeon” by Katt Kirsch, level not listed.
Kind of maybe sort of written for OSE?
   I don’t know what you call Artpunk, but this thing’s heart is what I’d call Artpunk. Sure, there’s an attempt to make our bare little eight pages (six after cover/rear) describe an ambitiously large two dozen key dungeon plus a hexcrawl, but the fundamental focus here is on presentation. It’s cool-looking, the aesthetic is very much to my taste, and format is admirably clean. Unfortunately, as that ratio usually portends…our content is a little thin.
   Story is a little bit of a digging project. Our region’s troubles began, as these things do, with a falling star that sickened and mutated the local village (turning them into the Drek-men, pretty solid name). Baron figures he’ll use this clearly dangerous thing for power, specifically by hiring a bunch of alchemists and using it to prolong his life (?) and kill a red dragon (I dig this illustration). Hooks are a little tenuous but we need to play D&D tonight so I guess we’re hexcrawling (?) to the keep (?) where the Barron is dead, the fallen star is apparently an egg that hatched, and the taxidermized dragon is up and walking again. Go ye therefore and loot.
   So what I liked, before the art above and the pretty decent formatting…I like the magic available, with a +2 Sabre joined by a Staff of Striking and a carnelian periapt. Even better look is an NPC with combat stats who’s happy to see the players. Those are already good. I like one room being filled with a dozen live chickens, who alert the guards next door, charming. Dragon present, automatic +1. 

  You know what’s about to come here…WHAT CAN BE IMPROVED IS GIVE ME A REAL MAP. This is a ball-and-stick style map with a 3D isometric layout. I like adding a z-axis, but the abstraction is still pretty miserable, really undercuts what is actually some halfway decent flow. The “hexcrawl” “map” is also not “good”, just a little gauntlet going from Big Town to Bad Keep. Decent magic loot aside, the gold values in this one are awful and should be massively increased, you’re fighting a dragon for heaven’s sake. All bad, but honestly the worst sin here are the abstracted keys…each room has a very tiny one or two line description, and most of the interactability is in the random encounter charts. One of the most important bits of information, that the baron is dead, isn’t revealed until the keys by the way. Uh. No. A little more personality distinction would help the Drek Men too.
   The best use case here is as a quest for your OSEnians, I reckon. The biggest issue is that I’m not sure what level we’re looking at on this one, the Dreks are basically goblins but the dragon is and legit unnerfed dragon (except for being stupid). It could be fairly fun. Lot of homework for that fun though, and not a lot value to extract sans context.
   Final Rating? **/***** pretty much only because of the dragon. If there’d been a less abstracted map and more details given in the keys it could have been a lot better, but as it is we’re mostly just here to admire style.

A dungeon by Idyll Games, level not listed.
Written for The Electrum Archive, whatever that is.
   There are an infinite number of RPG systems. Mathematicians, physicists, and philosophers may tell you that’s impossible…they might point out the sheer vastness of the concept of infinity, the fact that there are only eight billion people on this planet right now, the fact that even if a hundred billion worlds with a trillion people all working for a quadrillion years on bespoke artsy RPG systems we still shouldn’t have a drop in the bucket compared to the limitless vastness that is infinity. Nevertheless, there are an infinite number of RPG systems.
   To whit, The Electrum Archive. No idea what it is, but this adventure is written to be compatible with it under the TEA license. Six pages with a generous art budget, eight keys, kind of random placement of information here or there, but otherwise with normal bolding/bullets/organization. Good job, Idyll Games, I saw your sketchy map and had been worried, but this is a perfectly readable product.
   Our story is fine. Rumors are about a new sacred spring in the desert draw in pilgrims, but a lot of those who drink from the spring later die. Apparently in this setting there are malign High Spirits who can move into handy empty idols, in this case said spirit is haunting an old shrine and sending up water as a temptation to pilgrims. Why? Metaphysics are unclear, but there’s nothing wrong with the odd hungry ghost in any setting. Please go destroy the evil idol, thanks.
   What I liked, beyond the dark chalk-art piece on the penultimate page, is this map. It’s linear, but with an 8-room dungeon that’s reasonable, and it does have water features which always improve things. Plus there are multiple means of ingress, secret passages, and it all makes sense. The scribbly style here is not at all to my taste, but game recognize game. I like the monsters, just the right amount of weirdness, and the sturgeons that grab and drown PCs are a good idea. I waffled a bit on the drowning mechanic being in the “liked” column, but in the end I think it’s neat…anyone who drowns in this shrine reawakens in the silver pool at full health but having lost one core memory. It’s fine for a one-off weird space. Treasure values, I have no idea, but the treasure itself is well-placed and decently frequent. This one surprised me with how many decent elements it had.
   Which is why what can be improved seems a little bare. I do think the site lacks a little on the interaction front. There are naturalistic traps and bits to fiddle with, and the monsters all have goals, but something sentient and able to talk would make for a better session. Even a multiply-drowned amnesiac would be nice. On the drowning thing, I’d also add a mechanical penalty myself, but I’m not sure if this system has enough juice to supply that. Obviously, writing this for B/X or whatever would be an improvement but now we’re just being churlish.
   Yeah, you’re hearing me right, this is a pretty okay adventure site. I think the best use case is to adapt it into whatever system you are running, put it in a handy desert hex (or other dry region, to be honest), and let those rumors naturally flow. It’s not anything unique or out-of-this-world, but that’s not needed all the time, sometimes you just need a decent little adventure site. This is that.
   Final Rating? ***/***** with almost another half star added. Really, it’s as good as something this humble and small can be, and there’s nothing at all wrong with that. A good and useful location, feel free to place in your hexmap with my permission.

A dungeon by Ryan Lynch, level unspecified
Written for no system in particular
   We’re ending July with a “watery octopus Appendix N Jam entries”, apparently. You know the drill by this point…nifty cover, four pages (this time covering eight keyed rooms), double-column format, bog standard highlighting and writing and everything else. Hey, you can put a lot more words in if you’re going to eschew such uncool things as “stats” or “system-specific rules”.
   Pirates, poor ol’ pirates. Always seem to be having such a great time, until they grab a bit of cursed booty and all become undead and live a cursed existence for all of time. Every. Single. Time. This group went around calling themselves the Curs, had a dog motif, and the cursed item was a sentient undead-causing dagger, it’s sentient because a sea nymph is trapped inside. All good. Hooks are fine, a mix of a panicky shellfish pick, and treasure map, and/or a woman in visions promising your dreams. Sure.
   So what I liked in this was mostly that dagger-and-sea-spirit combo. It’s a lovely mix of good loot, interesting story, and definite trap. The holder can command sea critters and breathe underwater, and I do wish there was an environment here where those powers could gain you other cooler stuff. I like how sea lady is shaping the treasure pile into a face and there’s a whole trap associated with it. I also like one pitiful pirate skeleton who’s jawless and just has a single arm, he’s friendly and talks a lot if his jaw can be found, that’s very classic in a LucasArts way.
   All that, so good. What can be improved though is the usual laundry list of issues. Map’s layout is adequate but as always with dungeon isometrics, it would have been better top-down. I think more size would have helped the whole “two rivals battling for decades over the magic dagger” factional conflict that got set up. More map space would help the whole site breathe with traps and encounter flow. Of course, the biggest improvement would be to WRITE THIS THING FOR A SPECIFIC SYSTEM. It’s a lot easier to adapt from a different system into my own vs. this vagueness. Treasure could stand a little more interest but that would be greedy.
   The best use case on this one is to make yet another pirate lair for your map, as long as you don’t mind the extra homework. I do think the whole lady-in-a-dagger setup is worth using, and if you are, the rest of the lair is adequate enough, I suppose. The best ain’t great but the worst ain’t bad.
   Final Rating? **/***** because it’s just kind of okay. If you’re truly truly desperate for Yet Another Pirate Lair, probably because you’re doing a pirate campaign (you poor soul), then I suppose you could do worse than this.

An adventure by Clayton Notestine, level nill
Written for Cairn
   Okay, that’s a darn cool cover. The Appendix N Jam produced some very cool visual artifacts, if nothing else. An LLM somewhere drank half a lake dry making this thing, huge production value for a little four-pager. Format is the usual two-column affair, just eight, uh, keys plus the intro, bestiary, and spellbook. There’s a credited editor, but the editing pass must have been for formatting, not content…the main raider is Poxlin “Feral Beard” Skuggs in one place, Poxlin “The Toxin” Skuggs elsewhere for example, there are multiple issues like that. Overall appearance is nice though, and more readable than some of these products.
   Our story here is the bog-standard “giant Atlantean submarine accidentally crashes into a lighthouse and is being actively looted while the mummy it was transporting attempts to escape”. As will happen. Hooks are thin enough to break with minnows, not just trout…your players are Poxlinite mercenaries, dreamers summoned by the mummy, or treasure hunters bereft of any other affiliation. Going to be some fairly major different approaches from that one, which is nice, but its not much supported via text.
   May Gygax forgive me, there will be multiple examples of what I liked here in a Cairn adventure, of all dang things. First off, the Atlanteans are wildly gonzo…they’re all psychic octopi in fishbowls piloting barnacle-encrusted skeletons. That’s neat. I like that the mummy is voiceless unless his lung-containing canopic jar can be returned to him. I like that there are new unique spells to discover (although they tend to be silly). Loot tables are decently flavorful as well, although of course if you’re playing in a real system then you’re going to need to fill in gold totals. I dig the broad personality notes, should make for positive role-playing. All positive stuff.
   …but be not alarmed, faithful reader, we’re still in Cairn-land, for what can be improved is “everything else”. First of all, the map. My friends, this is a CRIME:

Do Not Under Any Circumstances Do This Thing. There’s a potentially cool dungeon described here, a submersible Greek trireme stuck into a lighthouse being consumed by the tides. But yeah, art is hard. But the abomination that is this ball-and-stick diagram is terrible and obtuse and should not happen. The random encounters are also “events” which are awkward and probably would make more sense in a physical environment but given each circle is a wildly different space, the events are hard to manage. Also, despite the strong personality work on the NPCs, their motivations, or rather plans, are a little ambiguous. I don’t usually complain about a short adventure text but this thing desperately needed one more page.
   Naturally the best use case here is thus to strip this for its deliciously gonzo parts, assuming you’re wanting to run something zany. That Atlantean idea is a hoot and a half, and I like a lot of the rest of the scenario flavor. If you are a person given over to a depraved mind and wish to inflict bad gaming upon your friends, AKA “A Cairn DM”, then I suppose you could run this directly in Cairn.
   Final Rating? **/***** almost entirely because of the quality of the sizzle, not because of the steak. If this thing had half the effort given to substance that was devoted to its style, we’d have us a 5/5 here instead. 

An adventure by Clyde (@LowKeyTTRPG), levels 1-2.
Written for Shadowdark
   I have…questions. You have a production written for Shadowdark, probably the easiest system to write for in the world. Level one or two. You have a generous nineteen pages to explain your dungeon, which only has eleven keys (confusingly labelled 1-3, and a-h). You’re using lots of tables, color coding, and careful long faction descriptions for what gets encountered in those less-than-dozen locations. So…WHY WOULD YOU FEEL THE NEED TO MAKE A YOUTUBE VIDEO EXPLAINING IT? Alright, Clyde, it’s cross-promotion, I get it, game recognizes game. Even so.
   The story is about as normal as it can get, the second “undead knights + monster humanoids” we’ve hit in a row. Little more spice, this time at least there’s a solid connection…knights are cursed by a dragon they killed to rest uneasily, kobolds were lairing here just chilling until taken over by some dragon-worshipping lizardmen, now they’re stealing mining equipment to break into the knight’s inner tomb to steal his dragon-fire sword. Add in a lost wedding band from a confused wandering local villager and some bandits blowing a hole into the complex and boom, there you go. It’s a lot to stuff in to an itty bitty sub-Dyson.
   So what I liked here are actually quite a few of the little details. There are neat little traps, the magic items and the npcs of note are all named and with motivations, and the map has two entrances, which actually matters. All good. I don’t know why, but I was particularly charmed by the pair of vases-with-scrolls-in-them in the final undead room with clear “break in case of restless dead” instructions. More of that, please.
   Alas, all this good work is severely undercut by the teeny-tiny nature of the map; what can be improved first and foremost is to EXPAND THE MAP. Ideally, add water features and a second level or two. Conversely, the actual map itself is perfectly functional as a small lair map, but in that case the improvement would be to stuff it less. I’m also not fond of preset loot that then requires rolling on the system table; pre-roll that crap, particular if they’re in the adventure to be anti-undead priest scrolls. Rolls are fun outdoor or random encounters, not a pregen little lair.  I really think this guy had a good story idea with some good design intent but was really under-served by his map.
   Thus it with resignation that I say best use case here is to run it as a one-shot in 5E. It would be more useful if it was lighter, or heavier, but the puffy slow-combat shamble that is 5E needs that kind of over-engineered, under-sized craft. Shadowdark can handle a lot better, brother. I guess this is why we needed a YouTube explainer.
   Final Rating? **/***** but I really think there’s some promise here. Either scale up or scale down and we have quite a decent adventure writer. Give us more next time, Mr. Clyde.